In order for any creator in the high arts to retain a modicum of sanity one must drop the ontological construct of self world. In the world of the arts there is no world, only the self as the world is very capable and successful in turning a creator into an alcoholic, depressive, drug addict, or in some rare cases, ear-less.
I started my career in jazz and looking back it would have been very practical to have stayed in that idiom. Jazz is very different art form than orchestral composition, (as it is based on improvisation) and the JAZZ AUDIENCE is OPEN to new things. JAZZ thrives on the spontaneity of new music being created in the moment. I would compare it to the thrill of surfing a giant wave as you ride the sound that emanates instantaneously from your subconscious to your fingers.
I thirsted to leave my very comfortable home and create new music in different genres and forms and composed orchestral works because I love the sound of these large scale challenging musical novels that do not exist in the world of jazz, but unfortunately I created these for a classical world that is NOT OPEN to new IDEAS and RESENTS them as it perpetuates the status quo, and has been spiritually and intellectually castrated thus forth they are not to able to celebrate anticipation.
So in liberating myself from my mothers nipple I will write symphonies for fun, and play jazz for fun, and EXPECT NOTHING more than the SATISFACTION of the creative process.
So I am signing off and entering the world of the Solipsistic ARTIST, the PSYCHOTIC and CRIMINAL, and all others that live outside the realm of SOCIETY in the hope of finding inner peace from solely the artistic process.